1 May - End of May
Time travels very fast. Reminisce back , I had wasted an entirely half of the year contributing nothing to the community but significantly a great deal to my own good-enjoying the time I had to the fullest. And then , it is time. To go , to continue my life journey. To ascend myself to a higher step. Looking back , I have traversed for almost 18 years. Following the whisper of my heart , bringing myself to keep on walking along this road , misty conditions does not success in holding me back. I have carved my own road on my journey , and now , it is another new work. An entirely sophisticated task has thrown to me. Which way to go ? I've no idea. What to do next? And what I can do after it? Again , I dont know!
"You have no target in your life?" Someone asked me.
Deep thought of it, yap , there is..no...there ARE. However , it is not the subject for me to drag on here. After research after research , I've finally come to a conclusion - it's again another life bet. It's either I win this time or lost everything. I got to take the risk. Scholarships rejected me one by one , and I've known this for sure , what am I compare to others? I'm just one in a zillion. One tiny sub-ion compared to the universe. Even if I got the chance to grab a scholarship , I might reject them as well if it requires me to be bonded to them. Haha , am I arrogant? Or too stupid to do so? You may think so. But I have my different way of thinking , different perspective and different vision for my life. So , I've applied to TARCollege and now I'm there. Why ? Cheap lo. But not in the meaning of "cheap" , it's synonimous to inexpensive or rather affordable. Haha.
Towards the end of the month , it is the time for me to depart to Kuala Lumpur. Gosh , though it's not my first time flying to other places , I experience a plethora of emotions. A lot of things prepared and then the next day , it's going to be a long day.
In the airport , grandpa and grandma and and have come to bid me their farewell. I know I will meet them not long after this farewell because there will be a holidays during the coming June. Nothing happens until the time the plane has departed from the airport. Uphigh in the sky , I scan through the lower ground. Having my eyes set on Kuching's landscape. My last view of it and trying to photograph them into my mind. "I gonna miss here soon." Uncontrollable , tears started to roll down. Yes , it's true! Haha. It's the place I grow up , meet people and where my family lies. Nonetheless , an inseparatable bond has formed deep within me , it's just that I didnt realise it till that time.
And finally the plane set down to the Heart of Malaysia- Kuala Lumpur. Upon arrival to the condominium , my first impression is , Oh no! Why? That's for you to think.Haha. The first day we were busy buying things such as the furniture. After that we were having a small walk in KL for the next few days until my friends arrived. Then everything went on as usual. Nothing much to talk about.
Then here it came the orientation. It wasnt as fun as I thought.Listening to a lot of speeches and then the next day was the ice-breaking activites. Well , to be honest , I felt I should run away in midst of it. Haha.
Follows up , class begins. My lecturers are all nice. Just notice that my mind has really rusted totally. It's time to undergo studian movement again. Haha
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Blowing off the Dust!
I've come so far and now , it is the time to scribble a few things to be remembered. Due to suffocating boredom , I turn back to my blog and am thinking to update it. Let me see , we have a lot of dust and spider web here. No worries , bi bi di ba bi di boo~~~~~ Perfectly done!
Okay , enough of gibberish. Now , the real thing. Keep you people update of my typical life as a student. Omigowd , last post was during March.
LATEST UPDATE!
Name : Lord Lexirphiw de Kui Cheng *duh , name will not change of course*
Age : 17 , ya..still 17 , mengapa? Birthday has not knocked on my door yet. Don't age me automatically la you guys.
Course : Cambridge A Levels - Biology , General Paper , Chemistry , Physics , Mathematics
Where? TARCollege. Then where I live? Hostel? No No No No....Wangsa Maju! So feel free to come visit me but I have to tell you beforehead , no comfortable sofa nor tv available. But there's tonnes of newspaper available here. No joke! Haha.
Well , I got a lot to say and it will be about.......a long essay then. Some of you might not like to read these long and tedious and mundane stories. But hey , this is my blog , I can do whatever I want. Haha. So , if it's jabbing at your eyes , just move your cursor to the top right corner , ya there , saw a X ? Click that. Ya...done....you're no longer trapped under words. Anyway , the update will be separated into a few section caegorized by months. I supposed.
Okay , enough of gibberish. Now , the real thing. Keep you people update of my typical life as a student. Omigowd , last post was during March.
LATEST UPDATE!
Name : Lord Lexirphiw de Kui Cheng *duh , name will not change of course*
Age : 17 , ya..still 17 , mengapa? Birthday has not knocked on my door yet. Don't age me automatically la you guys.
Course : Cambridge A Levels - Biology , General Paper , Chemistry , Physics , Mathematics
Where? TARCollege. Then where I live? Hostel? No No No No....Wangsa Maju! So feel free to come visit me but I have to tell you beforehead , no comfortable sofa nor tv available. But there's tonnes of newspaper available here. No joke! Haha.
Well , I got a lot to say and it will be about.......a long essay then. Some of you might not like to read these long and tedious and mundane stories. But hey , this is my blog , I can do whatever I want. Haha. So , if it's jabbing at your eyes , just move your cursor to the top right corner , ya there , saw a X ? Click that. Ya...done....you're no longer trapped under words. Anyway , the update will be separated into a few section caegorized by months. I supposed.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
My New Hope
Recently , I really have no idea what am I supposed to blog. Everyday goes by with the same routine. The pendulum swings from one edge to the another without failing. No external force exists to stop its movement. The inertia goes on. However , today , and finally, I get inspired to write me myself a blog entry. What's it all about? Find out then!
From dream to dream , ambition to ambition , there are a plethora of choices which one can adopt. And I do have a dream of my own , and might be the influence from my zodiac - scorpio and the date of my birth and time , it is to said that I possess character of over ambitious , too over till I think it is impractical as well. So , one will always have more than one choice. And I , no doubt , will create myself another path for me to choose. Not because I lost faith in the original but to make sure I will have another route for myself if things get wrong.
I always think which job is suitable for me , a job that combines all my capabilities. And now , I've got the idea - Magazine Editor! Yes , producing magazines! Sounds funny right ? Haha. Why? What so special about this job? Well , first , it's challenging of course. Management , creativity , innovativity , public relationship and much more....... Yes , this job needs all these. What more to say , I love to write , though I dont think I can write ver very well like the others , but I just love to write! Why I would need to follow the current trend? To prevent me jobless in the future? Probably , but I will not want myself to regret whole life. Indulge into one things that one doesnt like to is far more terrible than death , I suppose!
From dream to dream , ambition to ambition , there are a plethora of choices which one can adopt. And I do have a dream of my own , and might be the influence from my zodiac - scorpio and the date of my birth and time , it is to said that I possess character of over ambitious , too over till I think it is impractical as well. So , one will always have more than one choice. And I , no doubt , will create myself another path for me to choose. Not because I lost faith in the original but to make sure I will have another route for myself if things get wrong.
I always think which job is suitable for me , a job that combines all my capabilities. And now , I've got the idea - Magazine Editor! Yes , producing magazines! Sounds funny right ? Haha. Why? What so special about this job? Well , first , it's challenging of course. Management , creativity , innovativity , public relationship and much more....... Yes , this job needs all these. What more to say , I love to write , though I dont think I can write ver very well like the others , but I just love to write! Why I would need to follow the current trend? To prevent me jobless in the future? Probably , but I will not want myself to regret whole life. Indulge into one things that one doesnt like to is far more terrible than death , I suppose!
Friday, February 22, 2008
What I want to do?
These few days have really made me bored deep into my bones. It is now I realse how nice it is to go to school. How controversal it is! Anyway , since I have nothing to do , I might as well find SOMETHING to do. Let's see. Hm..I dont have a PS , nor PS2 , that also applies to PS3. So basically , no games. PSP? Yes...But I've played it for the past 2 months already. Online games? The same grinding games all over. Nothing much to inspire me. Then , no gaming. Well , what I am interested in doing now is writing , perhaps. I'm writing my script for the Sin Chew Daily's Literature Competition. For the World Bank Essay Competition , too bad , it requires too much facts that I admit I am NOT good in factual essay. Listening to music and also finding nice pieces to play lo. Currently into TVB'S theme. The Drive of Life is a superb piece! Anyway , might find somemore things to post. Probably will be on SPM result that day gua. Should got inspiration to write , may it be good or bad. For the 2007 Form 5-ians , cross your fingers , toes and whichever parts that you can cross and pray hard ....... As we desire , so mote it be.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Emotional Day
At 7.37pm , I got lectured by my mom. Reason - Trying to take Art Subjects for A Level. In her opinion , and also father's opinion , Art Subjects are low class subjects and will not earn much respect when applying for scholarship. Alright , what's the big deal? It is just that I scared I wont be able to cope with and one day I might end up crazy. "But most people dont eh? Why you?" Okay , I am DIFFERENT from them. I dont have their scientific mind.Reprimanded me that I will regret next time. I tried to tell them if I fail all , how? But still nothing can change their mind.Alright , then I might as well follow what they tell me. All the dream of my own will screw up from this moment and replace with strings that hanging my limps and every nerves and muscles of my own. A puppet. A puppet that lives under YOUR shadow. Not a choice to choose , not a choice to speak but to follow the mastermind of the master. Now I just realise what Kwen ever said. What's the different of dieing earlier and later. The longer one lives , the more the suffering. So hope the death scynth will one day come before my and slash my soul into two. Or even go crazy , how innocent they are and have nothing to worry for. Or even being not so intelligent also seems to be good. 傻人有傻福~ Here presents a lyric for Moeny,Money,Money:
I work all night , I work all day
To pay the bills I have to pay , aint it sad!
And still there never seems to be
A single penny left for me , that's too bad.
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldnt have to work at all
I'd fool around and have a ball.
Money Money Money
Must be funny in the rich man's world
Money Money Money
Always sunny in the rich man's world.
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world
A man like that is hard to find
But I cant get him off my mind , aint it sad
And if he happens to be free
I bet he wouldnt fancy me , that's too bad.
So I must leave , I'll have to go
To Las Vegas or Monaco
And win a fortune in a game
My life will never be the same
Money Money Money
Must be funny in the rich man's world
Money Money Money
Always sunny in the rich man's world.
All the things I could do ,
If I had a little money , it's a ich man's world,
It's a rich man's world.
I work all night , I work all day
To pay the bills I have to pay , aint it sad!
And still there never seems to be
A single penny left for me , that's too bad.
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldnt have to work at all
I'd fool around and have a ball.
Money Money Money
Must be funny in the rich man's world
Money Money Money
Always sunny in the rich man's world.
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world
A man like that is hard to find
But I cant get him off my mind , aint it sad
And if he happens to be free
I bet he wouldnt fancy me , that's too bad.
So I must leave , I'll have to go
To Las Vegas or Monaco
And win a fortune in a game
My life will never be the same
Money Money Money
Must be funny in the rich man's world
Money Money Money
Always sunny in the rich man's world.
All the things I could do ,
If I had a little money , it's a ich man's world,
It's a rich man's world.
Monday, February 18, 2008
A Poem to Quench Thirst
Recently being so busy. Si Anu asked,"What are you busy on? Even the ants are also busy to find food." The truth is , I do not know what am I busy on and that's why I am busy in trying to figure why I am busy. Haha. Valentine's Day just passed as usual. It's kind of funny that it should be 14 February according to the time zone of the origin right? Then Malaysia's time should be 15 Febraury. Haha.... Gibberishing on nonsense stuff again. Anyway , for the couples , everyday will be Valentine's Day , what makes that day so special? I do not know. So present the"LoNeLiNess" to all those are are still single. I accept tomatoes and potatoes throwing to me but NO water please...I already got plenty just by turning the water pipes.
Walking down this grey path of life,
I see meaningless smiles;
hear meaningless speeches,
Smell treachery , betrayal.......
I am , and will go on , alone......
Alone in this concrete room
which enveloped me within....
Sandwiched by thick moisturing smell of debres
With only the resounding silences to accompany me.
Echo bounches back here and forth...
Resonated the whole room
Into a tremendous din....
Yet , it is still my own moaning.
How could this be
That you're not here with me?
Not at all!
You never ever tell me your farewell,
Leaving me alone in your wake ,
Awaiting your presence.
Here I am alone in a world of mid winter,
Everyday I sit here and reminsce...
I questioned myself never-endingly:
What Have I done?
Why had everyone slipped away from me?
Over the time,
Darkness enveloped me inexorably,
No light , no friends , no care,
Just the tormenting and merciless , excruciating darkness.
Who shall accept my existence when I , myself
Cannot bear my own existence in this world?
What is the destiny or fate?
Born into this world,
What's awaiting me?
What's the purpose ?
The echo of the silence continued on deafeningly...
Oh how pain it is!
Not the pain of the flesh , nor the bleeding of the body
But the breaking of one's inner soul of the soul.
A choice was what I have decided,
For the world so hopeless and a void.
A hardened heart I brewed,
An emotionless mind I fostered,
An empty soul I traded,
All to deny the one called "Loneliness"
Alas , it had struck me deep and rooted in me,
Sealed in me , unable to be removed.
How I negotiated with It,
I know it would never leave....
Nothing could make it leave,
Lest the day comes when I will go to my ancestors' place.
Walking down this grey path of life,
I see meaningless smiles;
hear meaningless speeches,
Smell treachery , betrayal.......
I am , and will go on , alone......
Alone in this concrete room
which enveloped me within....
Sandwiched by thick moisturing smell of debres
With only the resounding silences to accompany me.
Echo bounches back here and forth...
Resonated the whole room
Into a tremendous din....
Yet , it is still my own moaning.
How could this be
That you're not here with me?
Not at all!
You never ever tell me your farewell,
Leaving me alone in your wake ,
Awaiting your presence.
Here I am alone in a world of mid winter,
Everyday I sit here and reminsce...
I questioned myself never-endingly:
What Have I done?
Why had everyone slipped away from me?
Over the time,
Darkness enveloped me inexorably,
No light , no friends , no care,
Just the tormenting and merciless , excruciating darkness.
Who shall accept my existence when I , myself
Cannot bear my own existence in this world?
What is the destiny or fate?
Born into this world,
What's awaiting me?
What's the purpose ?
The echo of the silence continued on deafeningly...
Oh how pain it is!
Not the pain of the flesh , nor the bleeding of the body
But the breaking of one's inner soul of the soul.
A choice was what I have decided,
For the world so hopeless and a void.
A hardened heart I brewed,
An emotionless mind I fostered,
An empty soul I traded,
All to deny the one called "Loneliness"
Alas , it had struck me deep and rooted in me,
Sealed in me , unable to be removed.
How I negotiated with It,
I know it would never leave....
Nothing could make it leave,
Lest the day comes when I will go to my ancestors' place.
灯
点燃一盏生之灯盏
时光的倒流
让后悔的悲哀,
无怨的喜悦
流向生命的死之源头
飞鸟和鱼的爱情
不再是不能一起的悲哀
鸟儿欲火焚
身成了凤凰
鱼儿奋力一跃
出了龙门
化身为龙
谁说它们离开了世俗的视线就不是幸福的存在？
蛇褪掉的不是一层挣扎而是透明的灵魂
所以它成了邪恶的魔鬼
它选择丢弃灵魂来换取行尸走肉的生
天堂之蝉无期复无期的等待
毅然抛弃了心之天堂
然后又穿上了丑陋的外衣
而蝴蝶已经美丽
不再是当初和它一起爬行的毛毛虫
谁说到了天堂就是幸福？
所有生之终结只是回到
陌生的死之最初 .
点一盏老之灯盏
独剪西窗的烛芯
微弱的灯光
霎时明亮了许多岁月
在你的额角
镂刻了几道忧伤的波纹
风霜
在你乌黑的头发
漂染了白雪的颜色
忽然觉得亏欠了你许多
总想远离你的唠叨
你的期待与怀疑的目光
您总觉得孩子弱小经不起风霜与岁月的打击
我离你越是远
心总是和你在一起
想你不是岁月催老
而是你爱之大手紧紧的把我抓劳
和那从不放弃的坚持爱的力气
慢慢消耗的缘故
总是怨恨自己的无能为力
流下懦弱和亏欠的眼泪
我愿用我透明的心，
纯洁的灵魂，
和一丝残存的梦想
换你不老的容颜。
我们是您一只手的五根手指
虽然有间隔却又是不分离。
点一盏病之灯盏
燃尽血液中的忧郁
从此没有忧郁
忧郁的眼神眼神里
弥散的诗意的坚定
死神微笑的站立在我的床头
他要带去我透明的灵魂到达另一个空心的世界
死神在床头意味着必死
在床尾意味着残生
一如活着的地方
是浮华的世界
死去的地方
是清静的天堂
天堂是地狱之外的世界还是地狱是天堂之外的世界？
点起死之灯盏的时候
我知道就要结束
不愿醒来的梦
它是那样的易碎与醒
多想那个王子可以放慢到我身边的脚步
那个王子的吻迟迟的不落下
久久不愿睁开还有我多情的眼睛
然而灯已点亮
我愿意用300首云淡的诗
换取你一颗透明的心
谁愿意用一千首风清的诗换取我的死？
然后王子哭着归来
公主笑着睁开沉睡已久的眼眸 .
点一盏爱别离之灯
让别离的蜡烛
永远燃烧着不息的爱之灯火
一座孤坟埋藏着的
只是朽木，枯骨，
最终也只剩下黄土
有一缕青烟
就在你一眨眼的瞬间
也随风消散了
庆幸还有一棵年轻的松树
离坟只有数步之隔
这微小的距离
也会在流年似水中消弭松树就挺拔在坟的黄土上
就像别离的灯盏熄灭了只余下无止息的爱 .
点一盏怨憎会之灯
灯火就成了怨的黑夜
憎的白昼的分隔
洁白的蝴蝶
贪恋芳香暗涌的花朵
而花朵却是恶魔的化身
恶魔之花偷去了蝴蝶的心灵
它怨恨花朵美丽的诱惑
花朵憎恶蝴蝶无心的飞翔
从此它飘荡在天涯
不久便厌恶天涯的漂泊
无依飞回百花园里
不再是贪恋芬芳的蝶
因为它要找回那颗水晶的心 .
我就居住在那盏阿拉丁神灯里
虽然我也有千年的愿望
却不能自我实现
与我无关的商时风唐时雨来袭
我就酣睡在灯盏内
我千年的愿望
就是人们再无需索和要求
如此我就可以永远沉睡在千年不变的梦里
人们总是扰乱了我的心
我的梦
别人的美梦成真了
我的梦却支离破碎的醒着.
时光的倒流
让后悔的悲哀,
无怨的喜悦
流向生命的死之源头
飞鸟和鱼的爱情
不再是不能一起的悲哀
鸟儿欲火焚
身成了凤凰
鱼儿奋力一跃
出了龙门
化身为龙
谁说它们离开了世俗的视线就不是幸福的存在？
蛇褪掉的不是一层挣扎而是透明的灵魂
所以它成了邪恶的魔鬼
它选择丢弃灵魂来换取行尸走肉的生
天堂之蝉无期复无期的等待
毅然抛弃了心之天堂
然后又穿上了丑陋的外衣
而蝴蝶已经美丽
不再是当初和它一起爬行的毛毛虫
谁说到了天堂就是幸福？
所有生之终结只是回到
陌生的死之最初 .
点一盏老之灯盏
独剪西窗的烛芯
微弱的灯光
霎时明亮了许多岁月
在你的额角
镂刻了几道忧伤的波纹
风霜
在你乌黑的头发
漂染了白雪的颜色
忽然觉得亏欠了你许多
总想远离你的唠叨
你的期待与怀疑的目光
您总觉得孩子弱小经不起风霜与岁月的打击
我离你越是远
心总是和你在一起
想你不是岁月催老
而是你爱之大手紧紧的把我抓劳
和那从不放弃的坚持爱的力气
慢慢消耗的缘故
总是怨恨自己的无能为力
流下懦弱和亏欠的眼泪
我愿用我透明的心，
纯洁的灵魂，
和一丝残存的梦想
换你不老的容颜。
我们是您一只手的五根手指
虽然有间隔却又是不分离。
点一盏病之灯盏
燃尽血液中的忧郁
从此没有忧郁
忧郁的眼神眼神里
弥散的诗意的坚定
死神微笑的站立在我的床头
他要带去我透明的灵魂到达另一个空心的世界
死神在床头意味着必死
在床尾意味着残生
一如活着的地方
是浮华的世界
死去的地方
是清静的天堂
天堂是地狱之外的世界还是地狱是天堂之外的世界？
点起死之灯盏的时候
我知道就要结束
不愿醒来的梦
它是那样的易碎与醒
多想那个王子可以放慢到我身边的脚步
那个王子的吻迟迟的不落下
久久不愿睁开还有我多情的眼睛
然而灯已点亮
我愿意用300首云淡的诗
换取你一颗透明的心
谁愿意用一千首风清的诗换取我的死？
然后王子哭着归来
公主笑着睁开沉睡已久的眼眸 .
点一盏爱别离之灯
让别离的蜡烛
永远燃烧着不息的爱之灯火
一座孤坟埋藏着的
只是朽木，枯骨，
最终也只剩下黄土
有一缕青烟
就在你一眨眼的瞬间
也随风消散了
庆幸还有一棵年轻的松树
离坟只有数步之隔
这微小的距离
也会在流年似水中消弭松树就挺拔在坟的黄土上
就像别离的灯盏熄灭了只余下无止息的爱 .
点一盏怨憎会之灯
灯火就成了怨的黑夜
憎的白昼的分隔
洁白的蝴蝶
贪恋芳香暗涌的花朵
而花朵却是恶魔的化身
恶魔之花偷去了蝴蝶的心灵
它怨恨花朵美丽的诱惑
花朵憎恶蝴蝶无心的飞翔
从此它飘荡在天涯
不久便厌恶天涯的漂泊
无依飞回百花园里
不再是贪恋芬芳的蝶
因为它要找回那颗水晶的心 .
我就居住在那盏阿拉丁神灯里
虽然我也有千年的愿望
却不能自我实现
与我无关的商时风唐时雨来袭
我就酣睡在灯盏内
我千年的愿望
就是人们再无需索和要求
如此我就可以永远沉睡在千年不变的梦里
人们总是扰乱了我的心
我的梦
别人的美梦成真了
我的梦却支离破碎的醒着.
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