What I want to do?

These few days have really made me bored deep into my bones. It is now I realse how nice it is to go to school. How controversal it is! Anyway , since I have nothing to do , I might as well find SOMETHING to do. Let's see. Hm..I dont have a PS , nor PS2 , that also applies to PS3. So basically , no games. PSP? Yes...But I've played it for the past 2 months already. Online games? The same grinding games all over. Nothing much to inspire me. Then , no gaming. Well , what I am interested in doing now is writing , perhaps. I'm writing my script for the Sin Chew Daily's Literature Competition. For the World Bank Essay Competition , too bad , it requires too much facts that I admit I am NOT good in factual essay. Listening to music and also finding nice pieces to play lo. Currently into TVB'S theme. The Drive of Life is a superb piece! Anyway , might find somemore things to post. Probably will be on SPM result that day gua. Should got inspiration to write , may it be good or bad. For the 2007 Form 5-ians , cross your fingers , toes and whichever parts that you can cross and pray hard ....... As we desire , so mote it be.

Emotional Day

At 7.37pm , I got lectured by my mom. Reason - Trying to take Art Subjects for A Level. In her opinion , and also father's opinion , Art Subjects are low class subjects and will not earn much respect when applying for scholarship. Alright , what's the big deal? It is just that I scared I wont be able to cope with and one day I might end up crazy. "But most people dont eh? Why you?" Okay , I am DIFFERENT from them. I dont have their scientific mind.Reprimanded me that I will regret next time. I tried to tell them if I fail all , how? But still nothing can change their mind.Alright , then I might as well follow what they tell me. All the dream of my own will screw up from this moment and replace with strings that hanging my limps and every nerves and muscles of my own. A puppet. A puppet that lives under YOUR shadow. Not a choice to choose , not a choice to speak but to follow the mastermind of the master. Now I just realise what Kwen ever said. What's the different of dieing earlier and later. The longer one lives , the more the suffering. So hope the death scynth will one day come before my and slash my soul into two. Or even go crazy , how innocent they are and have nothing to worry for. Or even being not so intelligent also seems to be good. 傻人有傻福~ Here presents a lyric for Moeny,Money,Money:
I work all night , I work all day
To pay the bills I have to pay , aint it sad!
And still there never seems to be
A single penny left for me , that's too bad.
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldnt have to work at all
I'd fool around and have a ball.
Money Money Money
Must be funny in the rich man's world
Money Money Money
Always sunny in the rich man's world.
All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It's a rich man's world
A man like that is hard to find
But I cant get him off my mind , aint it sad
And if he happens to be free
I bet he wouldnt fancy me , that's too bad.
So I must leave , I'll have to go
To Las Vegas or Monaco
And win a fortune in a game
My life will never be the same
Money Money Money
Must be funny in the rich man's world
Money Money Money
Always sunny in the rich man's world.
All the things I could do ,
If I had a little money , it's a ich man's world,
It's a rich man's world.

A Poem to Quench Thirst

Recently being so busy. Si Anu asked,"What are you busy on? Even the ants are also busy to find food." The truth is , I do not know what am I busy on and that's why I am busy in trying to figure why I am busy. Haha. Valentine's Day just passed as usual. It's kind of funny that it should be 14 February according to the time zone of the origin right? Then Malaysia's time should be 15 Febraury. Haha.... Gibberishing on nonsense stuff again. Anyway , for the couples , everyday will be Valentine's Day , what makes that day so special? I do not know. So present the"LoNeLiNess" to all those are are still single. I accept tomatoes and potatoes throwing to me but NO water please...I already got plenty just by turning the water pipes.

Walking down this grey path of life,
I see meaningless smiles;
hear meaningless speeches,
Smell treachery , betrayal.......
I am , and will go on , alone......
Alone in this concrete room
which enveloped me within....
Sandwiched by thick moisturing smell of debres
With only the resounding silences to accompany me.
Echo bounches back here and forth...
Resonated the whole room
Into a tremendous din....
Yet , it is still my own moaning.

How could this be
That you're not here with me?
Not at all!
You never ever tell me your farewell,
Leaving me alone in your wake ,
Awaiting your presence.

Here I am alone in a world of mid winter,
Everyday I sit here and reminsce...
I questioned myself never-endingly:
What Have I done?
Why had everyone slipped away from me?

Over the time,
Darkness enveloped me inexorably,
No light , no friends , no care,
Just the tormenting and merciless , excruciating darkness.

Who shall accept my existence when I , myself
Cannot bear my own existence in this world?
What is the destiny or fate?
Born into this world,
What's awaiting me?
What's the purpose ?

The echo of the silence continued on deafeningly...
Oh how pain it is!
Not the pain of the flesh , nor the bleeding of the body
But the breaking of one's inner soul of the soul.

A choice was what I have decided,
For the world so hopeless and a void.
A hardened heart I brewed,
An emotionless mind I fostered,
An empty soul I traded,
All to deny the one called "Loneliness"
Alas , it had struck me deep and rooted in me,
Sealed in me , unable to be removed.
How I negotiated with It,
I know it would never leave....
Nothing could make it leave,
Lest the day comes when I will go to my ancestors' place.

灯

点燃一盏生之灯盏
时光的倒流
让后悔的悲哀,
无怨的喜悦
流向生命的死之源头
飞鸟和鱼的爱情
不再是不能一起的悲哀
鸟儿欲火焚
身成了凤凰
鱼儿奋力一跃
出了龙门
化身为龙
谁说它们离开了世俗的视线就不是幸福的存在？
蛇褪掉的不是一层挣扎而是透明的灵魂
所以它成了邪恶的魔鬼
它选择丢弃灵魂来换取行尸走肉的生
天堂之蝉无期复无期的等待
毅然抛弃了心之天堂
然后又穿上了丑陋的外衣
而蝴蝶已经美丽
不再是当初和它一起爬行的毛毛虫
谁说到了天堂就是幸福？
所有生之终结只是回到
陌生的死之最初 .

点一盏老之灯盏
独剪西窗的烛芯
微弱的灯光
霎时明亮了许多岁月
在你的额角
镂刻了几道忧伤的波纹
风霜
在你乌黑的头发
漂染了白雪的颜色
忽然觉得亏欠了你许多
总想远离你的唠叨
你的期待与怀疑的目光
您总觉得孩子弱小经不起风霜与岁月的打击
我离你越是远
心总是和你在一起
想你不是岁月催老
而是你爱之大手紧紧的把我抓劳
和那从不放弃的坚持爱的力气
慢慢消耗的缘故
总是怨恨自己的无能为力
流下懦弱和亏欠的眼泪
我愿用我透明的心，
纯洁的灵魂，
和一丝残存的梦想
换你不老的容颜。
我们是您一只手的五根手指
虽然有间隔却又是不分离。

点一盏病之灯盏
燃尽血液中的忧郁
从此没有忧郁
忧郁的眼神眼神里
弥散的诗意的坚定
死神微笑的站立在我的床头
他要带去我透明的灵魂到达另一个空心的世界
死神在床头意味着必死
在床尾意味着残生
一如活着的地方
是浮华的世界
死去的地方
是清静的天堂
天堂是地狱之外的世界还是地狱是天堂之外的世界？

点起死之灯盏的时候
我知道就要结束
不愿醒来的梦
它是那样的易碎与醒
多想那个王子可以放慢到我身边的脚步
那个王子的吻迟迟的不落下
久久不愿睁开还有我多情的眼睛
然而灯已点亮
我愿意用300首云淡的诗
换取你一颗透明的心
谁愿意用一千首风清的诗换取我的死？
然后王子哭着归来
公主笑着睁开沉睡已久的眼眸 .

点一盏爱别离之灯
让别离的蜡烛
永远燃烧着不息的爱之灯火
一座孤坟埋藏着的
只是朽木，枯骨，
最终也只剩下黄土
有一缕青烟
就在你一眨眼的瞬间
也随风消散了
庆幸还有一棵年轻的松树
离坟只有数步之隔
这微小的距离
也会在流年似水中消弭松树就挺拔在坟的黄土上
就像别离的灯盏熄灭了只余下无止息的爱 .

点一盏怨憎会之灯
灯火就成了怨的黑夜
憎的白昼的分隔
洁白的蝴蝶
贪恋芳香暗涌的花朵
而花朵却是恶魔的化身
恶魔之花偷去了蝴蝶的心灵
它怨恨花朵美丽的诱惑
花朵憎恶蝴蝶无心的飞翔
从此它飘荡在天涯
不久便厌恶天涯的漂泊
无依飞回百花园里
不再是贪恋芬芳的蝶
因为它要找回那颗水晶的心 .

我就居住在那盏阿拉丁神灯里
虽然我也有千年的愿望
却不能自我实现
与我无关的商时风唐时雨来袭
我就酣睡在灯盏内
我千年的愿望
就是人们再无需索和要求
如此我就可以永远沉睡在千年不变的梦里
人们总是扰乱了我的心
我的梦
别人的美梦成真了
我的梦却支离破碎的醒着.

Friends....

有时你很暖， 暖得犹如母亲的体温 浓缩着炙烤我冰冷的心的温度 哪怕那冰冷的心碎了也无法弥补我的你的谢意 有时你很轻犹如纷飞的雪花 熔化着、浸透着 哪怕那纷飞的舞者停止了生命也无法偿还我对你的歉意 然而在泥土下 有冻不碎的心扉 有割不断的思念 或许，最寒冷的夜里 你能看到 我的身影 越走越远 越走越淡

你在狂风之中嘶吼 咆哮着对我的呼唤 我的灵魂 悄然降落在你的身后 心情落寂的时候,一声轻轻的问候恰似一丝温情溢满心间，
永远让人感动。遇到困难四处无助时我帮你，淡淡的关怀缠绕身边。无论跋涉的脚步行与多远，想到在暗夜里，风雨中孤寂时，
始终有朋友为我点灯，撑伞，抚慰，总会有一种神奇的力量，
永远让人感动！真正的朋友无所谓远近和性别,是能与你风雨同舟同甘共苦的人；朋友会是让你在心底深处常常牵挂的人；朋友就是你能信任她,她也了解你的人；朋友是能够分享你的成功,你的喜悦而从未妒忌的人；朋友是能倾听烦恼并给予你帮助而不求任何回报的人；朋友也是让你由不得自己去深深依恋的人朋友是快乐时永远忘记的人；朋友是痛苦时第一个想找的人；朋友是打扰了不用说对不起的人。朋友是给了帮助不用说谢谢的人；朋友是你步步高升也不用改变称呼的人；朋友是扎根在你脑海中——想忘也忘却不了的人。
因为失去了将不会复得，以诚相见，心诚则灵；
以心相许，心灵相同让我们永远是朋友。朋友是永恒不变的
别让骄傲占有你，
因为骄傲会使你拒绝有益的忠告和友谊的帮助决不要陷于骄傲,
因为一骄傲，你们就拒绝别人的忠告和友谊的帮助；
因为一骄傲，你们就会丧失客观方面的准绳
富裕带来荣誉，富裕创造友谊金子使兄弟反目；，金子使家庭不和；
金子使友谊破裂；金子使国家内讧贫困会中断友谊友谊是个无垠的天地，它多么宽广啊
破坏水堤的是腐朽的树根，破坏友谊的是言而无信的人忠厚是友谊的桥梁，欺骗友谊的敌人虚伪的迎合是友谊的毒剂，诚恳的批评是友爱的厚礼卑鄙与狡诈的开始，就是在友谊的终结人和人之间，
最痛心的事莫过于在你认为理应获得善意和友谊的地方，
却遭受了烦扰和损害 忠诚是爱情的桥梁，欺诈是友谊的敌人

但我不明白,為何你一次又一次地說我們是知心好友,卻又一次又一次地討厭我..每當我以為,我發覺,我懂得. .你與我的友情己到了盡頭的時候,你卻去補救它,可不是徒然的,,每一次我也心軟地相信你...每當我欣喜,我希望, 我快樂我們的友誼終於穩定了, 你卻開始用言語, 冷淡來摧毀我們辛苦建立的信任,也不是徒然的,,每一次我的心也破碎了...一次又一次,你到底要傷害我多少次才心息?你到底要弄碎我的心多少次才足夠?我實在茫然,原來朋友你對我的傷害比誰也深,比誰也狠...