A Poem to Quench Thirst

Recently being so busy. Si Anu asked,"What are you busy on? Even the ants are also busy to find food." The truth is , I do not know what am I busy on and that's why I am busy in trying to figure why I am busy. Haha. Valentine's Day just passed as usual. It's kind of funny that it should be 14 February according to the time zone of the origin right? Then Malaysia's time should be 15 Febraury. Haha.... Gibberishing on nonsense stuff again. Anyway , for the couples , everyday will be Valentine's Day , what makes that day so special? I do not know. So present the"LoNeLiNess" to all those are are still single. I accept tomatoes and potatoes throwing to me but NO water please...I already got plenty just by turning the water pipes.

Walking down this grey path of life,
I see meaningless smiles;
hear meaningless speeches,
Smell treachery , betrayal.......
I am , and will go on , alone......
Alone in this concrete room
which enveloped me within....
Sandwiched by thick moisturing smell of debres
With only the resounding silences to accompany me.
Echo bounches back here and forth...
Resonated the whole room
Into a tremendous din....
Yet , it is still my own moaning.

How could this be
That you're not here with me?
Not at all!
You never ever tell me your farewell,
Leaving me alone in your wake ,
Awaiting your presence.

Here I am alone in a world of mid winter,
Everyday I sit here and reminsce...
I questioned myself never-endingly:
What Have I done?
Why had everyone slipped away from me?

Over the time,
Darkness enveloped me inexorably,
No light , no friends , no care,
Just the tormenting and merciless , excruciating darkness.

Who shall accept my existence when I , myself
Cannot bear my own existence in this world?
What is the destiny or fate?
Born into this world,
What's awaiting me?
What's the purpose ?

The echo of the silence continued on deafeningly...
Oh how pain it is!
Not the pain of the flesh , nor the bleeding of the body
But the breaking of one's inner soul of the soul.

A choice was what I have decided,
For the world so hopeless and a void.
A hardened heart I brewed,
An emotionless mind I fostered,
An empty soul I traded,
All to deny the one called "Loneliness"
Alas , it had struck me deep and rooted in me,
Sealed in me , unable to be removed.
How I negotiated with It,
I know it would never leave....
Nothing could make it leave,
Lest the day comes when I will go to my ancestors' place.